Clergy and Educator Abuse Survivors Empowered!

Children at Risk written by Peggy Harris W.A.S.H. Board Chair

Sexual abuse is not an easy subject to discuss. It is, however, one that needs to be openly talked about, one that you need to know about and a subject that everyone should be concerned about. The following situations all occurred in Seventh-day Adventist settings.

Situation 1
A church considered giving a position to a convicted pedophile who is the subject of a book written about him. There are more than 40 known victims of his abuse, including his own children and grandchildren.

His problem with sexual abuse goes back to his teen years. Upon completion of his college degree he taught in SDA schools where the first known incidents of his perpetration took place. The man was told that if he would leave the state, the local conference would not press charges! If he had been dealt with at that time, it would have saved the other 40 or so victims he abused later on and he might have gotten some help for himself. However, at that time nobody wanted to deal with this unspeakable problem in the church, so it was customary to pass the person along, and this is what happened in this case.

Some of the victims support giving this man a position in the church, others are against it. It is unknown how many of the victims were asked about it (since many had moved away from that particular church). His own son has not been asked for his opinion.

UPDATE: As a result of several contacts from W.A.S.H. Board members to the pastor of the church, there have been scheduled education sessions for the church members on how to deal with abuse victims and abusers.

Situation 2
One church with a convicted pedophile in attendance took the following steps to protect it's members:

1. The whole church was made aware of the man's problem.
2. A deacon or other adult ALWAYS accompanied the man any place he went in church.
3. He was told to sit on the front pew rather than the back pew which had been his custom.
4. The man was not supposed to touch or hold a child.
5. If he broke any of these rules he would be kindly but firmly reminded immediately by parents or others that he could not do this. (Unfortunately, parents would often fail to do this consistently.)

The man did not like to comply with these measures and stopped attending this congregation. When he began attending another non-SDA Church in the area, the SDA pastor called and advised the second church's pastor of the man's situation and the pedophile then stopped attending that church as well.

Situation 3
A young principal became involved in sexual abuse with a teenage student from his eighth grade class. The girl came from a troubled home and had been sexually abused by her own father. After a period of time, the abuse became known and the principal resigned his position and then went to work for several years in a SDA home for troubled teens! Later he became a teacher in another conference. Finally, after several more years, he was promoted to the educational department of that conference. As far as anyone knew there were no other instances of sexual abuse. He did have some counseling and has been advised to have further counseling at his expense; counseling for the victim and the perpetrator should always be at the expense of the perpetrator.

Even with the knowledge that if something arose in the future, there would be no insurance coverage, the conference decided to take the risk of keeping this individual in his administrative position. After all, they reasoned, it had been a number of years since the abuse took place and the man was sorry, had confessed and was full of remorse. As far as the leaders knew, there have been no other victims of this man and they were concerned that if they fired him, he would lose his career as it was unlikely a public school would hire him. One wonders how he will handle a situation of educator abuse if it ever arises in the teachers he will supervise.

Unfortunately, the victim's life is forever altered. The message given to young people by leadership's actions in this situation is that the perpetrator must be spared at the risk of loss to other people and the conference.

UPDATE: As a result of various contacts from W.A.S.H., relatives of the victim and others the man was severed from conference employment.

Situation 4
A minister became involved in sexual abuse with a young girl who was the age of his own son. As soon as the abuse became known, he was relieved of his pastoral position, his credentials taken away and told he could never be a pastor again. Because of his remorse, (and sentiment that this was the only sexual abuse he did) he was helped into another position apart from church employment. His family stood by him and he has been able to lead a successful life.

(What messages do situations 3 and 4 convey to our young people: It is not right to be a pastor and do sexual abuse, but it's O.K. when you are a teacher abusing students? Do we place a different standard on a church than on a school? One man is fired, the other promoted? Indeed, stories like these are astonishing!!)

Situation 5
A church member served as a Pathfinder Leader for many years. It finally became known that he was involved in sexual abuse with children when charges were brought by parents of a victim. The parents later dropped the charges when they discovered what their daughter would have to go through in order to press charges. The perpetrator was immediately removed from the leadership position. When a transfer of membership was requested to another church, the pastor of the second church was apprised of the situation. Nevertheless the man's membership was accepted into the new congregation and this person has since become involved with children in his new church.

Note:
With regard to taking legal or criminal action against perpetrators, parents must decide what is best for their child. Sometimes a parent is afraid the child will not be able to stand up to a court trial. The child should also be part of the decision. It takes great courage for a young person of any age to go forward with charges and the child is the one who will have to live with the results of the abuse and the aftermath for the rest of their life. Outcomes of such actions are uncertain as the children's stories are often pitted against a "pillar" of the church, school, and community. Some of the benefits of taking legal or criminal action include closure for the victim and the victim's family and prevention of the perpetrator from victimizing others. Often such confrontations can force the perpetrator to get help.

Situation 6
A church member was convicted and served time for the sexual abuse of two children. When this was learned, the church board voted to dis-fellowship him after his conviction. He went to another SDA Church and joined that church on profession of faith even though the pastor was told of his past.

Situation 7
A talented denominational employee lost his job when it became known that he had had a long time affair and had a child out of wedlock. He was remorseful and was given a church to pastor. He is now held up as an example of success for other pastors and conducts seminars for pastors.

While it is possible that this man has truly felt sorrow for his conduct, the message given to other pastors and especially to young people is that when you make a mistake, all you have to do is say that you're sorry and you can go on with your career. There has been no accountability required in this situation.

Afterthoughts
A minister was fired because he divided his tithe between his local church and the conference. Does this mean that it is more acceptable to be involved in sexual misconduct than to pay tithe outside of regular channels? When our priorities get confused in this way, we wonder why youth see these inconsistencies and leave the church!

Commercial liability insurance policies usually have an endorsement or a clause that excludes coverage for an employee who was hired with a previous history of sexual misconduct. This may also extend to volunteers. That means that there is no insurance coverage (absolutely none) for the school, church, conference or union in the event of a lawsuit, should the perpetrator continue to abuse. If there is an award, the monies would be drawn directly from the assets of the school, church, conference, union, etc. Allowing abusers to be passed along within the denomination puts the church at a great financial risk.

There seems to be little understanding of the concept of forgiveness and accountability in situations of abuse. There is a great need to educate churches and schools on how to administer forgiveness while holding individuals accountable for their actions. Forgiveness does not mean the absence of consequences or the absence of further caution on the part of the school or church. Forgiveness does not dilute the importance of continued vigilance--especially where innocent children are concerned.

The Bible provides many examples of accountability. Moses committed a sin (self-exaltation that misrepresented God) and although God forgave him, he was not allowed to lead Israel (and go with them) into the land of Canaan. God can forgive any sin - if we will but ask Him, but there are still consequences to sin. The person who smokes and gets lung cancer may still die even though they are sorry that they ever smoked!

Victims have expressed that it is a slap in the face for them to see a perpetrator in church leadership positions (special music, running the PA system, tape ministry, maintenance, song service, etc.) A perpetrator should be dis-fellowshipped. A perpetrator may be re-baptized, may be in counseling and therapy (rehabilitation, if possible, takes years!) but they should never be put in a position where they have contact with children and they should not be allowed a position of visibility that a child would look up to.

When a perpetrator is put into a leadership position in church, children and/or victims are given the impression that the church or school approves of what that person has done. The implication is that all adults approve of the perpetrator's actions and that even God approves. The distrust which this instills in children and victims distances them from adults, the church, the school and from God as they conclude that God condones the behavior of the perpetrator and therefore God cannot be trusted.

Abuse of trust is at the heart of sexual abuse. Pedophiles are usually eager to help children, are most winsome, and are nice and kindhearted. They are also manipulative people who have gone to great lengths to develop an image of trustworthiness among parents and children. It is very hard for people to believe that this person, so trusted, could do such terrible things to their children. At times it is more tolerable for parents and church leaders to believe the lies of the pedophile over the words of their own children!

{There are some who may think that because a predator has only preyed on grown women that teenagers and children are safe with them. However, there is evidence that if the predator cannot find their preference they will resort to younger, more vulnerable age groups to get satisfaction for their sexual perversions.}

Spiritually, the consequences of treating this topic lightly are weighty. When we harbor abusive behavior within our congregations, it is no wonder that a church or school can wither away and die for lack of God's blessing. Neither a church, school, nor a pastor or principal can be successful and receive the outpouring of the Holy spirit when sinful behavior is tolerated. How much we need to recognize our need of God, repent, and be a Godly example to our children. We need to recognize that tolerance of sin limits the work of the Holy spirit. We need to ask forgiveness of those that have been harmed by sexual misconduct in our church circles and show them by our actions that we do not approve of such behavior.

It has been said to victims - "Can't you be a little more forgiving?" when there has been sexual misconduct. The advice to "forgive and forget" is very prevalent. Those who commit sexual misconduct or harassment go on their way to other places, often receiving promotions, with little or no censure. The victims are left to sort out their relationships to church, school and God. This inequity must change!

Where does change start? It must take place everywhere. Education in church schools, academies, colleges, and universities needs to prepare children and youth as well as future pastors, teachers and church workers to adequately protect the vulnerable. Attitudes within present administration can change also with education. There is a wealth of material and resources to help church management begin to prevent further harm to churches and members from abuse and harassment. The school or church should have guidelines or procedures set in place to conduct background checks of those who would be in contact with children and youth.

The guidelines recommended by the North American Division Sexual Ethics Commission can begin to prevent abuse and harassment in our churches, schools and institutions, IF THEY ARE FOLLOWED.

After abuse has occurred, there needs to be careful counseling of victims by reputable counselors trained for the type of abuse the victim has experienced. (There are specialists in this field just as there are in other medical fields.) False accusations are rare. The use of drugs, hypnosis, or suggestion to elicit memory are not appropriate methods of treatment.

While sexual misconduct affects all corners of society, debilitating men, women, and children everywhere, many people have left our church, not because abuse happened within the denomination, but because not enough was done to prevent or stop abusive behavior and to hold the perpetrators accountable. Many would be interested in coming back if we were to begin dealing with sexual abuse in a positive way. We can then be more confident that NO MORE CHILDREN WILL BE HARMED. NOT ONE MORE!!

[ back to C.E.A.S.E. home page ]

Also, check out: